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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/24242515">Hard to Learn to Love</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/InsaneJuliann/pseuds/InsaneJuliann'>InsaneJuliann</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>The Evolution of Buddie [5]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>9-1-1 (TV)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Eddie's still working through things, Fluff, M/M, Pre-Relationship, brief appearances of the Firefam, yes you read that right - I just tagged a fic with fluff</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-05-17</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-05-17</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-02 20:20:43</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>6,844</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/24242515</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/InsaneJuliann/pseuds/InsaneJuliann</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Buck's helping Eddie fix Abuela's porch. Eddie's pretty sure he's possibly going to do something stupid, because he can't stop thinking about how much he wants to kiss his best friend.</p><p>Somehow, none of this actually helps Eddie figure himself out all that much.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Evan "Buck" Buckley/Eddie Diaz (9-1-1 TV)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>The Evolution of Buddie [5]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/1730287</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>70</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>680</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Hard to Learn to Love</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>I feel like I should be warning you all not to expect new works and updates as fast as I currently have been busting them out. For one, I've been telecommuting so that's a lot more time in my day honestly (not taking two hours to commute to and from work for one). Plus it's almost summer which means summer reading program work is upon me. It's gonna look strange this year though so who knows.</p><p>Anyway, here's the next Evolution fic. I take all the blame. Title is me once more taking and mashing together lyrics from a song, this time Sweet Nothing (ft. Florence Welch) by Calvin Harris.</p><p>Enjoy some fluffiness.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Buck picked Eddie up at his place on the third day that Chris was gone for camp.</p><p>They had the day off, and the next day their shift didn’t start until mid-afternoon. Eddie had already been going a bit stir crazy – his house was too quiet, and there wasn’t much for him to do besides work without his son around – so he’d mentioned the other day during dinner at the firehouse that he was going to spend his day off painting his abuela’s porch.</p><p>Buck had asked if he needed any help. Eddie had accepted.</p><p>Abuela of course insisted on them showing up for breakfast, so she could make sure they had a good meal before their hard work. By the time Buck and Eddie got there, she had most of the food already cooked and waiting for them.</p><p>“Abuela,” Eddie said. “You must have been up for early for this, you didn’t have to.”</p><p>She pinned him with an unimpressed look. “Hush. Eat. Then you can fix my porch so it looks fit for company again.”</p><p>Eddie went to grab a plate, watching from the corner of his eye as Abuela gestured for Buck to bend down so she could hug him and kiss his cheek. Buck had an impossibly bright, soft smile on his face, almost awed, or surprised.</p><p>Neither of the Buckleys talked much about their childhood; the team had noticed, though it was an unspoken kind of knowledge. Eddie never pressed, but sometimes he wondered. If he asked, would Buck tell him anything? If he asked, would Buck <em>admit</em> to anything, or deflect?</p><p>Eddie wasn’t even sure he wanted to know, really. It could be something simple, like not being close or getting along well.</p><p>It could be worse.</p><p>So Eddie didn’t think on it, much, but in moments like these, where Buck seemed to just – soak up the familial affection offered to him… it made it hard not to wonder.</p><p>Eddie took his seat at Abuela’s table, waiting to eat until both Buck and Abuela were sitting as well. Buck’s knee nudged his under the table. Eddie shot a glance at him, but Buck didn’t seem to have done it on purpose. Which meant there was no reason for Eddie to feel hyperaware of how close he and Buck were.</p><p>Since that night Buck had come over, after his conversation with Abby, Eddie had not been letting himself think about – it. The – that moment in his kitchen.</p><p>At least… he tried not to.</p><p>It was hard to not think about it honestly.</p><p>Eddie found the memory of that urge to kiss Buck striking him at the oddest moments. Buck would be doing something completely innocuous, or wouldn’t even be around, and suddenly Eddie was looking at Buck’s mouth, or thinking about how he had been able to feel Buck’s breath against his own lips in his kitchen that night.</p><p>He hadn’t told Karen about it. Hadn’t mentioned it to anyone – though who else was he going to talk to about it besides Karen anyway? One of his sisters? His abuela? The team? Yeah – no way.</p><p>So Eddie had been keeping that sledgehammer of a realization to himself.</p><p>He definitely wanted to at least try kissing Buck. The way the thought of it made his pulse quicken and his fingers tingle and his mouth dry a bit… made him think that he probably wouldn’t <em>dislike</em> it. He probably would enjoy it.</p><p>Which meant he probably <em>was</em> not as straight as he’d always believed.</p><p>The thing was – it really wasn’t just like the attraction he’d felt for women, for Shannon. He wasn’t sure if that was because Buck was a man, or because it was Buck, or because it was new to him and something he still was – coming to terms with. For himself. So, it was new in that way….</p><p>But Eddie thought back to the boy he’d sat next to for a time in middle school science class, and the way they’d passed notes, and how it maybe hadn’t just been the thrill of doing something they shouldn’t have during class. It hadn’t just been that they could get caught passing notes, it wasn’t just the breaking of that little rule, of tiny rebellion.</p><p>Maybe… maybe, there had been a bit of excitement and thrill because… because it had been <em>him</em>, and Eddie had….</p><p>Had liked the attention. From him.</p><p>It was – it was a lot. Sure, Eddie had been working himself around the idea that maybe he wasn’t straight for a while now. He’d been willing to consider it. He’d thought he was fine with it, able to accept that it might be the case.</p><p>But being hit with the sudden – certainty, he supposed, that yeah, he felt some kind of way for Buck that was beyond best friends… and maybe he’d felt that way before, once upon a time, and just dismissed it or made himself forget it….</p><p>Eddie didn’t know what to do with that. It kind of scared him. He’d caught himself a few times almost pulling away from Buck, putting distance between them. He caught himself at it every time, though, and fixed it. Went back upstairs from the gym and told Buck that actually, yeah, video games sounded good. Asked Buck the next day if he could come over that night, since the previous hadn’t worked (so Eddie had claimed, but there hadn’t been any reason Buck couldn’t have actually come over).</p><p>He felt like he was teetering on the edge of something. He wasn’t sure which way he was going to fall.</p><p>But either way, it was going to affect Buck, too. Eddie knew that.</p><p>It only made it more terrifying.</p><p>And Eddie had always been more of a coward than people thought he was. He didn’t want to have to do anything about it, not yet, not when maybe he could exist in limbo a bit longer.</p><p>Abuela’s back porch had definitely seen better days. It was all weather worn, from the paint on the railings to the cushions on her porch swing. Eddie knew there was a wobbly step that had started up a few months back. It was probably going to be more than a morning or two’s work, but Chris was gone for the next week and a half still. Eddie hardly had anything better to do with his time, right?</p><p>“Where do you want to start?” Buck asked, hands on his hip and eyes already squinting a bit in the bright sunlight. Eddie dragged his eyes away from all of that, examining the porch.</p><p>“She wants us to paint it,” he said, keeping his voice lower so Abuela couldn’t hear if she happened to be trying to listen in from the kitchen. “Which it needs,” he said dryly, reaching out to the railing and peeling off a flake of old paint. He thought it might have been white, at some point, but it was just a dull brownish-gray now.</p><p>“But?” Buck prompted.</p><p>Eddie glanced at him, smiling wryly. “There’s a loose step. It worries me.” He glanced back, murmuring, “She already fell, and I know it was almost two years ago now, but….”</p><p>“Alright. Step first, then we can paint them too as well as the rest.” He grinned, cheeks creasing. “She can hardly complain of us doing a thorough job.”</p><p>Eddie snorted. “’Edmundo, you worry too much, I said just to paint the porch not remodel it’,” he said, doing his best to sound like his abuela did. It had Buck pressing his lips tight against laughter, eyes squinting up with it anyway. Eddie offered him a grin back.</p><p>“Okay,” Buck croaked, still trying not to laugh. “So maybe she <em>will</em> complain, but she won’t actually hate us doing it.” He gave Eddie an almost unsure look, as if to check that he was correct.</p><p>Eddie tilted his head, nodding. She would accuse them of fussing and worrying too much, probably, of doing more than she needed, but she’d kiss their cheeks and send them home with some food or something.</p><p>“Do we need to go get anything?”</p><p>“Nah,” Eddie admitted, grimacing. He hopped down the steps, heading for the small shed in one corner of the yard. He could hear Buck following, so he said, “I already got everything since she asked, just stored it in here.” Wood for the step to be replaced, nails, sandpaper, paint, whatever he’d thought he might need and had been suggested. He hoped Abuela never thought to ask about how much he’d spent.</p><p>“Oooh, getting daring, are we?” Buck teased, holding up the bright blue paint. It wasn't too dark, and certainly not neon bright or anything, but yeah, it was a brighter color than someone would probably expect Eddie to have chosen.</p><p>Eddie couldn’t help but smile. “Chris helped me pick. It was that or yellow, but I thought blue might work a bit better.” Abuela’s house was white, so it wasn’t like it wouldn’t match or something.</p><p>“A solid choice,” Buck said, sounding almost hilariously serious. He grabbed the wood, tilting his head back towards the porch. “Let’s get to work, Diaz. Before the sun decides to bake us into crisps.”</p><p>Eddie snorted, grabbing the tools and nails. “Bake you, maybe. Some of us can stand more than five minutes of sunlight.”</p><p>“Ha, ha.”</p><p>They got to work. The bad step was the first order of business, and thankfully they got it done before it got too hot. That left getting all the old paint off the porch, though, and while not hard work it wasn’t easy per se. The sun was also getting pretty high and hot, too.</p><p>Eddie took a moment to wipe the sweat off his face with the bottom of his shirt. He was debating if they should stop now to eat some lunch, since it was getting to that time, or if it would be better just to finish sanding and then take a break.</p><p>Buck was watching him, he realized. Buck’s arms were folded where he leaned against the part of the railing he’d been working on, and he was just watching Eddie quietly – not smiling, not frowning, just… watching. He swore Buck's eyes slipped down a bit, before moving back up to Eddie's face.</p><p>Eddie’s mouth went a little dry.</p><p>He raised a brow, questioning, and Buck just gave a slight smile. It didn’t seem to reach his eyes though – those were pretty intent on Eddie.</p><p>“Want a water?” Eddie asked, just for something to say. Buck nodded, a bit slow, still staring.</p><p>Eddie finally had to just duck his eyes away. The way Buck was looking at him made him feel – well. Nervous. Not in a bad way. Not that it felt entirely good though, either, just – it felt like he was….</p><p>Hell, Eddie couldn’t even make himself think it, could he? What the fuck was wrong with him that he could admit he wanted to kiss Buck (if only barely, and if only in his own head) and that Buck was attractive, but he couldn’t let himself admit that he was pretty sure Buck had been –</p><p>Ugh.</p><p>Abuela wasn’t in the kitchen, but it wasn’t like Eddie didn’t know his way around it. He got them two glasses, got some ice, and filled them with water from the fridge. He drank half of his right then and there, refilled it, and – feeling more centered – went back to the porch.</p><p>He almost stumbled to a stop. He managed to keep his footing, and not do something obvious like gape or drop the glasses. But –</p><p>Buck was now shirtless, working at getting off the last paint near the end of the railing near the steps. It left a lot of skin on display. A lot of body to look at. It wasn’t like Eddie hadn’t seen it before. Like he hadn’t seen men naked or shirtless before – hadn’t seen <em>Buck</em> like that before.</p><p>But. Uh.</p><p>This had to be different. It <em>was</em> different. It was in a place that was kind of like home for Eddie, on their day off, when just a short while ago Eddie had realized he’d really like to kiss his best friend.</p><p>He’d really like to <em>touch</em> too, he mused. Buck’s arms were – nice.</p><p>Buck glanced at him, from the corner of his eyes. There wasn’t anything about his expression to really make Eddie think it, yet he couldn’t help but think, ‘<em>You did this on purpose</em>.’</p><p>Eddie silently held out the glass of water for Buck, before he took a quick drink of his own. It felt good – because it was hot (and maybe also because his mouth had gone a bit dry watching Buck’s shoulders, whatever).</p><p>“Thanks, Eddie,” Buck said cheerfully, setting the glass down on the porch well away from where they were working. “What do you think – keep going, or should we start thinking of lunch?”</p><p>“Uh,” Eddie blinked, then looked around the porch, yanking his focus back on task. “Honestly, I figure we might as well keep going. I’m not sure we’ll get to painting today,” he admitted, nose scrunching. “But at least if we don’t, it’ll be ready to go then. If I stop now, I’m not sure I will be able to convince myself to get back up.”</p><p>Buck laughed. “I feel you. Between the sun and the workout, I’m gonna be beat tonight.”</p><p>Eddie hummed agreement, setting his own water down a bit away from Buck’s and going back to his end of the porch. They were quiet as they kept working for a while, just the faint sound of music playing from some nearby neighbor’s backyard. Eddie hummed along a bit when it was a song he recognized.</p><p>It was at least another hour, if not more, before they finished. Eddie stretched, rolling his neck and groaning softly when it cracked in a satisfying way. His arms felt a bit sore, and his back wasn’t really thanking him, but he felt happy with what they’d got done.</p><p>The step was a lot sturdier now, and all the old paint had been taken off.</p><p>“Boys,” Abuela said from the doorway. She looked around with a critical eye. “This is not painted.”</p><p>Eddie huffed a laugh, even though Buck suddenly looked a bit nervous. “It will be, Abuela, I promise.”</p><p>“Hmm. Not today though.”</p><p>“Sorry,” Eddie offered, coming closer and clapping a hand to Buck’s shoulder. He’d meant it to be reassuring, but he had not thought that move through, he decided. Buck’s skin was hot from the sun, a little sweaty, very smooth.</p><p>Yeah, Eddie needed to get somewhere quiet and freak out about this new development in his ‘holy shit maybe I have feelings for my best friend’ situation.</p><p>“We’ll come back and finish it next day off,” Buck promised.</p><p>Abuela smiled, a little wry, very fond. “Yes, yes,” she said, waving a hand dismissively. “Fine then. Wash up, I have lunch waiting for you.”</p><p>“Gracias, Abuela,” Eddie called after her, grinning when she just waved him off again over her shoulder. He nudged Buck – studiously not thinking about how he was touching Buck’s skin, skin usually not on full display like this, skin he definitely wanted to keep touching – and said, “C’mon, Buckley, before Abuela decides we’re taking too long.”</p><p> </p><p>“So how’s the quiet house?” Hen teased him, dropping across the table with her lunch. Eddie chuckled, looking up from his own.</p><p>“You gonna judge me if I say I hate it?”</p><p>“Nah,” she said, smiling. “I get it. I’d probably find it weird to have a quiet house too, if Hen and the kids weren’t there for more than a couple hours.”</p><p>Eddie nodded. He offered Buck a smile as he sat next to him, fighting back a grin at the slight pink burn on Buck’s cheeks and nose. Chim saw it too, obviously, because he started teasing him.</p><p>“Shut up,” Buck laughed, glancing around quickly to make sure Bobby wasn’t looking before throwing a piece of food at Chim – who caught it in his mouth easily and high fived Hen. “I helped Eddie out at Abuela’s yesterday. Didn’t think I’d need sunblock.”</p><p>Hen snorted, shaking her head and smirking. “Baby, you should be putting it on every day in the summer. That pale skin of yours has no chance against the sun.”</p><p>Buck rolled his eyes, still smiling.</p><p>“So you got it painted?” Chimney asked.</p><p>“No,” Eddie sighed. “We fixed one of the steps first – it was looser than I liked. Then we had to scrap off all the old paint. It was hot enough by the time we finished that, we figured we’d just wait and paint it another morning.”</p><p>“Abuela didn’t mind,” Buck added. “And she promised me enchiladas next time!”</p><p>Eddie couldn’t stop his fond smile. Buck was so cheerful about the work, and about Abuela’s cooking. Abuela clearly had a soft spot for Buck, too. Eddie had joked to her that Buck had usurped him as favorite, and she gave him a look that clearly said ‘duh’. Buck had flushed at it all, at the time.</p><p>“Sounds like your abuela is trying to steal Buck out from under you,” Hen laughed. “Before you know it, he’ll be having dinner over at her place instead of yours.”</p><p>“Nah, but he does have a standing invitation for Sunday dinner now,” Eddie said. He glanced at Buck, smirking. “You know that means you have to come. It’s not an option.”</p><p>Buck got that strange bashfulness again, glancing down even as he kept smiling. “Ah, I’m sure that she doesn’t actually- “</p><p>“I could tell her you doubt her sincerity,” Eddie offered. He grabbed his phone, acting like he was going to call her up right then and there. “You’ll get an earful – actually, might be a nice change to have her scolding someone else, now that you mention- “</p><p>“Eddie!” Buck yelped, trying to grab his phone. Eddie laughed, straining backwards, trying to keep his phone out of Buck’s reach. It wasn’t easy, especially as Buck started to stand up and Eddie quickly followed suit. Buck’s two extra inches were working for him in this case, but Eddie just lowered his arm behind his back and kept grinning at him.</p><p>“’Abuela,’” he started, like he was creating a script or reading from it. “’I hate to tell you this, but Buck doesn’t think you <em>actually</em> meant it when you invited him for Sunday dinners' - ow!” He’d walked backwards into the edge of a counter, which had jabbed him in the side. He moved aside quickly, putting it between himself and Buck, who looked like he was considering just vaulting himself over it and tackling Eddie, who was laughing to hard to dial even if he’d wanted to.</p><p>Hen and Chimney were laughing and also cheering them on – both of them, switching sides every minute or so. Buck feinted like he was going to go around the counter one way and Eddie stepped the other, both of them stilling, eyes locked, grinning. Buck's eyes narrowed on Eddie's phone and Eddie could see his shoulders tense as he prepared to -</p><p>“Dare I ask?” Bobby said, making them all go silent and freeze, looking towards him. Bobby’s arms were crossed, his brows raised. Eddie was almost positive he was trying to hide a smile though.</p><p>Behind him, Athena just snorted and walked over to the table, taking a seat. “I don’t want to know,” she claimed, though she was smiling. She still had the sling on, though Eddie thought it was only for a bit longer.</p><p>Buck shot Eddie a mock threatening look. Eddie just grinned back.</p><p>After a moment, with Bobby still staring at them (definitely smiling now), they went back to their seats.</p><p>“You got me in trouble with Pops, you asshole,” Buck whispered, leaning over so his mouth was near Eddie’s ear and he was not likely to be overheard.</p><p>“Oh, hardly,” Eddie scoffed, just as quietly, turning to face Buck. “We all know you’re his favorite,” he teased. “And Abuela’s favorite. Which is why she’s going to be very upset to hear you think she- “</p><p>“Secrets don’t make friends,” Chimney called out loudly, making both of them look over at him, startled. Chim calmly took a bite of his lunch, watching them with an amused expression. “Wanna share with the class?”</p><p>“Nope,” Buck said instantly, turning back to his plate. His cheeks were flushing slowly. Eddie fought the urge to grin like a fucking idiot about it.</p><p>“Mmhm,” Athena hummed, brows raised and looking unimpressed (and, unless Eddie was mistaken, fond). “I’ll just bet, Buckaroo.” Her eyes turned to Eddie, and there was something there that made him feel embarrassed. He focused on his plate, just like Buck was. “I’ll just bet.”</p><p> </p><p>It was a thankfully cooler day when Buck and Eddie had time to go finish the porch. It went about the same as before – Buck came by to grab Eddie, they went to Abuela’s, ate breakfast, and got to work. Buck pulled up some music on his phone, turning the volume high and setting it well out of the way of where they’d be painting.</p><p>They took a break when they were around halfway done. Eddie had to admit it looked pretty good already; the fresh blue paint livened up the whole house and yard – though it had Eddie also eyeing Abuela’s porch swing. Maybe if they had any leftover paint, he could use it on that? It’d need new cushions, too, that weren’t faded and dusty looking.</p><p>Abuela had left them to it to go meet up with some friends of hers.</p><p>Eddie glanced at Buck. “What if I suggested we get lunch, and run by the store to get new cushions for that swing. Ones that don’t look so old.”</p><p>“Yeah,” Buck said agreeably. “Sounds cool.”</p><p>Eddie locked up Abuela’s house behind them, jogging to catch up with Buck and slid into the jeep. They bickered about what to get for lunch, nothing serious.</p><p>The sunlight looked good in Buck’s hair, Eddie found himself thinking. Buck’s sunglasses hid his eyes, but they looked good on him.</p><p>How was it that one guy managed to look so good almost all the time? Really, it was unfair. Here Eddie was, struggling with this whole – sexuality crisis or whatever, and not only did he think he maybe had feelings beyond friendship for his best friend, but his best friend looked like <em>that</em>.</p><p>(He could imagine Karen laughing at him if he said that to her. She’d probably say that was good luck, not bad.)</p><p>(Eddie wasn’t really complaining that Buck was so good looking. Still.)</p><p>They went through drive-thru for lunch, promising they’d not tell Abuela about just what they’d gotten to eat, and set off for the store. Eddie was used to shopping with Buck for the firehouse, though that was usually just for food and essentials. Eddie had thought entering through the garden section – since they needed cushions for <em>outdoor</em> seating – was the best plan to prevent Buck from his weird desire to glance at almost everything.</p><p>It was not.</p><p>Buck wandered off almost right away, awing over a small statue of a moose. He turned to Eddie, pointing to it, and it was so much like Chris trying to show him something cool in an attempt to get Eddie to believe that yes, they definitely needed to have it that Eddie choked down a laugh.</p><p>“Swing cushions,” Eddie said sternly.</p><p>Buck’s lips slipped into a small pout, but he followed Eddie – at least until he the fountains.</p><p>Then it was the cacti.</p><p>Some flowers he claimed would look nice in Abuela’s yard.</p><p>Then they had to go inside the store, because that was where the outdoor seating was kept.</p><p>Eddie ended up just following Buck from one thing to the next, smiling fondly. It took more than half an hour longer than Eddie had planned, but they did eventually get to the cushions of outdoor seating, and found a nice set for the swing. They were blue – not the same shade as the paint, but close enough Eddie figured.</p><p>Buck somehow managed to distract Eddie just enough that he paid for them before Eddie could. Eddie glared, but Buck just gave him that beaming, innocent smile back.</p><p>“Asshole.”</p><p>“Abuela’s making me <em>enchiladas</em> Eddie. I have to do something to show my thanks.”</p><p>“You’re helping paint her porch,” Eddie pointed out wryly, tossing the cushions into the back of the jeep and hopping in. “The enchiladas are in thanks for that.”</p><p>Buck shook his head. “No. If I’m to maintain favorite status- “</p><p>Eddie barked a laugh, and Buck’s lips twitched before settling into the mock serious expression again.</p><p>“<em>If I’m to maintain favorite status</em>,” he repeated pointedly, “then I got to really go for it here, solidify that I'm the best.”</p><p>“You’re ridiculous,” Eddie said fondly.</p><p>Abuela wasn’t back when they returned, which was lucky probably. Made it easier to hide that they'd bought the cushions a bit longer, and that they'd gotten fast food for lunch. It was another thirty minutes of work before she did show up, looking them over with a critical eye as she stepped onto the porch.</p><p>“Hungry?”</p><p>“We ate,” Eddie promised. “We should be done in an hour or two.”</p><p>She hummed, heading back inside. Half an hour later, she came out with something cool for them to drink and left a pitcher of it out with them too.</p><p>“Your abuela’s the best,” Buck sighed happily.</p><p>“She’s yours now too,” Eddie teased. “You’ve got that obligation to family dinners on Sunday now. She’s basically adopted you.”</p><p>Buck laughed, cheeks flushing as he rubbed the back of his neck. “I… I wouldn’t want to- “</p><p>“I can call her out here right now,” Eddie warned, only a bit joking.</p><p>“I just don’t want to intrude on family time,” Buck said, quiet and so sincere it hurt Eddie.</p><p>“You wouldn’t be,” Eddie said quietly, waiting until Buck glanced up to catch his gaze. “Seriously, Buck. You’re not intruding. I’ll tell you as much as it takes to sink in, Chris and I already consider you family, and Abuela does too. So it’s not intruding.”</p><p>“Yeah. Okay,” Buck said quietly.</p><p>Eddie wasn’t sure Buck actually agreed with him, and he was sure it was going to come up again. He wasn’t lying though; he’d say it as much as it took for Buck to believe it.</p><p>No matter what their relationship looked like later – still friends or something more – Buck was always going to be family to Eddie.</p><p>Maybe someday Eddie would figure out how to make it so Buck knew that, too.</p><p> </p><p>The day Chris came back from camp, they threw a party.</p><p>It was just a few people. Their main team from the firehouse, with their families. Abuela, Pepa, Marisol and her husband. Buck, of course. Buck stayed back at home to help finish setting everything up for Chris’ arrival, while Eddie went to pick him up at the school.</p><p>When Chris came hurrying towards him, Eddie crouched down with his arms wide open. Chris’ body slammed into him; Eddie wrapped him up tight, closing his eyes a moment.</p><p>Fuck, but he’d missed his son. So much.</p><p>“Hey kid,” Eddie said, finally pulling back a bit. Chris was tanned and grinning hugely, relaxed and happy. Obviously, he’d had a good time, but Eddie still asked.</p><p>“Dad it was so <em>fun!</em>” Chris almost shouted. Eddie rose, grabbing Chris bag from the teacher offering it with a quiet thanks, before they started towards the truck. Chris talked the whole way there about things that had happened, jumping from one story to the next sometimes before the first was even finished. Eddie couldn’t stop smiling.</p><p>Sure, it had sucked to not see his kid for two weeks. He’d missed Chris. But Chris had clearly had so much fun, and Eddie couldn’t be that upset. It was always good to see Chris excited and happy, learning new things about the world and himself.</p><p>“-and I gotta tell Buck, Dad, they had us make jam with some of the fruit we grew! We got to bring one jar home, it's in my bag.”</p><p>“I bet he’ll be excited to hear about it, and to taste it.”</p><p>“Can we call him and have him come visit? I wanna tell him everything, too.”</p><p>Eddie fought down the way his grin wanted to widen. “Maybe later. I think he’s a bit busy right now.” Finishing the set up for Chris’ party.</p><p>Chris pouted at him. “But Dad…”</p><p>“Hey, you’ll see him soon,” Eddie promised. His smile twitched wide before he mellowed it back down to normal. “What do you want for dinner tonight?”</p><p>Chris tilted his head, thinking. “Pizza? And milkshakes!”</p><p>Eddie laughed – he was pretty sure Chris would be excited with Abuela and Pepa’s cooking, instead of pizza, but still. “I’ll see what we can do about that.” Maybe someone wouldn’t mind running for ice cream and they could do milkshakes. Eddie had a blender somewhere in his kitchen, right? Buck would know.</p><p>They pulled up to the house, and Chris didn’t seem to notice that there were a lot of cars parked nearby. Eddie had picked Buck up early that morning from his apartment, and they’d run some errands for last minute party necessities, including picking up the cake – with everyone that was attending, they’d bought one of the big sheet cakes instead of making their own.</p><p>It meant that Buck’s jeep wasn’t there, because no way would Chris have missed seeing it and knowing Buck at least was waiting inside for him.</p><p>Eddie held the door open so Chris could do through first, smiling wide behind Chris' back as he went down the hall to the living room –</p><p>“Surprise!”</p><p>Chris started laughing, his smile so big his eyes were nearly squinted closed. “You tricked me!” he laughed, leaning his head back and grinning at Eddie. “You said Bucky was busy!”</p><p>“He was,” Eddie said wryly.</p><p>“Had to put the finishing touches on the best welcome home party ever for my favorite Diaz!” Buck agreed, coming forward and swooping Chris into his arms. Chris threw his own around Buck, too, squeezing as tight as he could.</p><p>“Welcome home, buddy.”</p><p>“I missed you, Buck!”</p><p>Chris got hugs from most everyone, and was excited to see Denny and Harry also there. May had Nia, already in a bathing suit, on her hip. Chris rushed to change into swim trunks, which the other boys already had on.</p><p>Eddie expected his back yard was going to be more mud than anything by the end of the day. Oh well – couldn’t hurt it.</p><p>May and Pepa went outside to start the sprinklers going and watch the boys. Eddie went around making sure to thank anyone he hadn’t yet, helping get the food set up. It was past lunch, but they put some snacks on a table outside, away from the water; they’d have dinner a bit early instead. Abuela and Buck were both darting around Eddie’s kitchen, stirring a pan of meat here and putting something in the oven there.</p><p>“Chris mentioned milkshakes,” he said.</p><p>“You don’t even have a blender,” Buck snorted. “He’ll probably forget about that, anyway, with the cake.”</p><p>Fair enough. Eddie shrugged, smiling slightly and straightening from the kitchen doorway.</p><p>“Go visit with Chris,” he suggested. “He said he wants to tell you all about camp. Abuela will keep me from burning anything.”</p><p>Abuela muttered a prayer under her breath in Spanish, very sarcastic. Eddie rolled his eyes.</p><p>“Yeah? Okay.” Buck beamed, checking one last time on whatever was on the stove before heading out to the backyard.</p><p>Abuela gave Eddie a knowing look, almost smirking.</p><p>“What?”</p><p>“Your Buck knows this kitchen better than you do, Edmundo. Knows where everything is in your home….”</p><p>Eddie shrugged, trying to make himself look busy by stirring the meat on the stove. It smelled good. He wondered if Abuela would rap his hand with a spoon if he stole a taste, same as she had when he was a kid and sneaking a finger of cookie dough.</p><p>Abuela tutted, but thankfully dropped the pointed comments.</p><p>The party was a success. Pepa came into the kitchen not too long after Buck had left it, shooing Eddie out and telling him he was just going to be in her way. She was smiling, and Eddie knew she was teasing, so he muttered fake complaints and went into the back where everyone else had gathered.</p><p>Chimney and Maddie were sitting in some camping chairs that Bobby and Athena had brought over. May was darting through the sprinklers with Nia in her arms, the baby laughing wildly and screaming delight each time. Hen was squirting the boys with a water gun, though Eddie could see Buck sneaking up behind her with one too.</p><p>“You and your boy put on a pretty decent party,” Karen observed, coming over to stand next to him, a plate of snacks in on hand.</p><p>Eddie laughed. “Well, it’s no Grant-Nash party,” he drawled. “But I think we did pretty good.”</p><p>“You did,” Karen said, smiling warmly. “Though I’m not gonna thank you when Denny comes home with a sugar high from eating too much of that cake I saw in the fridge.”</p><p>“I’m hoping them running around in the sprinklers will cancel that out.”</p><p>“No, it’ll just make them throw a tantrum before crashing.”</p><p>Eddie laughed and didn't disagree.</p><p>Everyone trailed inside to get their plate of food when dinner was ready, only to wander back out and find a seat pretty much wherever. Chris plopped himself between Eddie and Buck, jumping between telling more stories about camp and about the party itself. He beamed when Marisol and Vic sat nearby, plates in their laps, and asked about his time at camp. He told the story about the lake for the fifth time, though Eddie had caught a few things each time that hadn't been there before or changed. It made it hard for him to stop smiling. Eddie had known it was the right thing to let Chris go to camp, even though he'd been worried, but seeing his son happy and excited about the experience? It made him feel even better, made him feel like maybe his parents' worries about him as a father were a little farther away for once.</p><p>Chris was somehow even more delighted when they brought the cake out. Like Karen had suspected, the kids got a second wind via sugar rush and went running off as soon as they finished eating their pieces.</p><p>Eddie eventually settled on the porch railing to watch everyone, a beer in hand. The sprinklers were off, though sure enough his backyard was basically a muddy swamp. The boys had mud splattered up to their knees at the very least, and somehow Nia had some on her face. She was already looking sleepy, resting her head on Karen’s shoulder as she talked with Maddie.</p><p>Buck popped up from behind him, leaning forward against the railing. His elbow brushed against Eddie's hip, his shoulder against Eddie's arm. There wasn't much space between them at all, and each point of contact was warm. Eddie glanced down at the top of Buck's head, smiling.</p><p>“This was a pretty good idea,” Buck mused.</p><p>“I have those, occasionally,” Eddie said.</p><p>Buck snorted. “How long you think everyone’s gonna stay?” he asked, tilting his head to the side to see Eddie better.</p><p>Eddie hummed, before nodding his chin towards Karen. “Hen and her family are probably gonna leave real soon; Nia’s mostly asleep. Maddie and Chim hardly ever stay much longer once someone else has left, so they’ll be out not long after.”</p><p>“Bobby and Athena will help clean up a bit, since we’re using their chairs,” Buck added thoughtfully. “I was just trying to help clean up the kitchen and Abuela kicked me out.”</p><p>He huffed a laugh. “She’s probably already divvying up the leftovers for people to take home. Didn’t want you to catch her playing favorites.”</p><p>“Why not, I <em>am</em> her favorite after all,” Buck teased. "I told you that getting her the swing cushions would solidify my status."</p><p>Eddie snorted. “Yeah, but she can hardly let you catch her at it.” Eddie grinned down at Buck when he tossed his head back to laugh.</p><p>Sure enough, soon people started leaving, in just the order Eddie and Buck had predicted. Bobby and Athena helped clean up a bit, before Eddie assured them they should head home. Harry was clearly about to crash after all, if the way he yawned every few minutes was a clue. Marisol and Vic stuck around for a bit after that, talking with them all in the kitchen about other members of the family, things they'd been up to since Pepa's birthday party. They left once Abuela pushed some leftovers into Vic's arms.</p><p>It was even harder to get Pepa and Abuela to stop trying to clean and head home than it had been with Bobby and Athena. Eddie finally pointed out that Chris was exhausted but would put up a fight about getting ready for bed so long as people were still visiting. Pepa caved at that point, heading for the door. Abuela gave Eddie a pointed look, before glancing towards where Buck was sticking the last dishes that weren’t disposable in the dishwasher.</p><p>“Buck doesn’t count,” Eddie said, shrugging.</p><p>Abuela shook her head, smiling, and pulled him down for a kiss to his cheek.</p><p>Buck and Eddie tag teamed a sleepy Chris. Eddie got him showered and dressed for bed, Buck got him tucked in and agreed to read Chris some chapters from the Wayside School book they'd checked out from the library before Chris' trip.</p><p>Eddie went around, straightening up the rest of the house where it was still a bit in disorder. Most of the party had been outside, so it wasn’t too bad. He dropped onto the couch when he was done, flipping on the TV and mindlessly going through the channels.</p><p>Fuck, he was exhausted.</p><p>He must have actually dozed off on the couch, because he roused with a bit of a start when someone touched his shoulder.</p><p>“Hey,” Buck said while Eddie blinked the fuzziness from his vision, looking up at Buck. “Let’s get you in bed, Eddie.”</p><p>Eddie tried to agree as he staggered upright with Buck’s help, though it came out more of a mumble of sound. Whatever.</p><p>Buck smiled, almost painfully soft. His lips looked soft, too. Very pink. It was unreal how pink Buck’s lips looked, actually. And how soft. They were nice looking lips. Eddie didn't think he'd ever seen someone with such nice lips in his life, honestly.</p><p>Eddie watched Buck’s tongue dart across them. That just made them look a bit wet, even more tempting.</p><p>“Bed, Eddie,” Buck prompted. His voice was much lower, a little rough.</p><p>“Mhm.”</p><p>Buck breathed in and let it out slowly. His hand trailed down from Eddie’s upper arm, where he’d been steadying Eddie, down past his elbow before he stepped away. Eddie blinked, finally dragging his eyes to Buck’s.</p><p>They were that quiet kind of intense they got sometimes. Sometimes when it was just the two of them in the kitchen, talking. Sometimes when they were on the couch, two beers in and not at all paying attention to whatever was on the TV, just talking.</p><p>Like that day they’d been working on Abuela’s porch.</p><p>Buck looked like, maybe, he wanted Eddie. Like maybe, he liked what he saw when he looked at Eddie, too.</p><p>“Gonna stay the night?” Eddie asked, the words coming out rough and barely more than mumbles. He was tired, but he also felt very much aware of everything at that moment.</p><p>“Have to, don’t I?” Buck smiled. “Don’t have a car. Guess you’re stuck with me for a bit longer.”</p><p>Eddie hummed, sighing. “Okay. Good.” He started for his room, pausing when he hit the door and glancing back. Buck was watching him, eyes still intent, smile still fond. “G’night, Buck.”</p><p>“Night, Eddie,” Buck replied quietly.</p><p>Eddie swallowed the urge to offer to share his bed with Buck. They’d done it before, sure, but this would be different. Neither of them was upset, for one.</p><p>Eddie wasn’t sure he’d be able to keep himself from touching, for another.</p><p>He slipped into his room, shutting the door behind himself, and leaning against it for a moment before making for his bed. He stripped out of his clothes, eyes half-closed.</p><p>If he couldn’t help but think about what maybe it would be like, if he’d been brave enough to offer to share his bed, to have Buck warm and next to him, maybe without a shirt, right there for Eddie to touch when he no longer was able to resist….</p><p>Well. No one had to know about that except Eddie.</p>
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